For
Gooseberry Garden this week, we are exploring the cosmos (and other things). When I saw the topic, I was sure I would write about the natural beauty around me, but on a train ride a few days ago, I was struck by the isolation of the passengers. It did, indeed, seem like we were in our own little world, trapped by the rain and the train. In a 30 minute ride, not one person made eye contact with me. But despite their silence and blank faces, I had a wonderful time looking at their shoes - so much variety! I felt as though their shoes opened the gateway to their own individual orbits within the cosmos. I didn't, unfortunately, get around to many poets this last week but do, please join me in reading other poets' contributions for the Garden this week!
Unmasked train
duduh, duduh
we sway in silence
duduh, duduh
borne along
duduh, duduh
in a bright-lit
carriage
duduh, duduh
to the rail’s song
Blurs of colour
Flash outside
windows fogged
on this
rain-seeped ride
the universe
narrows
the world grows
dim
whirring wheels
trap souls within
a flickering orbit
each featureless
face
eyes slip from this
moment
of suspended space
blank eyes show no
clue
souls masked from
view
but each waiting
shoe
unveils worlds
about you
5 comments:
a nice rhythm through rhyme here. Really, really enjoyed the additional lyricism in the opening stanza, very much emulating the sound of moving along the tracks. Great title too. Thanks
love the rhythms in it.
well done.
I have this thing with metaphorical trains -- loved this.
Thank you for sharing!
Rolling along the tracks, you've captured that so well here. Nicely done my dear!
i like your intro and i want to comment on that is so true, people are confined in there own isolation and what intrigues me is that there shoes opened the door to your creativity.
Post a Comment