Monday, May 7, 2012

Train of Thought

For Gooseberry Garden this week, we are exploring the cosmos (and other things).  When I saw the topic, I was sure I would write about the natural beauty around me, but on a train ride a few days ago, I was struck by the isolation of the passengers.  It did, indeed, seem like we were in our own little world, trapped by the rain and the train.  In a 30 minute ride, not one person made eye contact with me.  But despite their silence and blank faces, I had a wonderful time looking at their shoes - so much variety! I felt as though their shoes opened the gateway to their own individual orbits within the cosmos.  I didn't, unfortunately, get around to many poets this last week but do, please join me in reading other poets' contributions for the Garden this week!

Unmasked train

duduh, duduh
we sway in silence
duduh, duduh
borne along
duduh, duduh
in a bright-lit carriage
duduh, duduh
to the rail’s song

Blurs of colour
Flash outside
windows fogged
on this rain-seeped ride

the universe narrows
the world grows dim
whirring wheels
trap souls within

a flickering orbit
each featureless face
eyes slip from this moment
of suspended space

blank eyes show no clue
souls masked from view
but each waiting shoe
unveils worlds about you


Unknown said...

a nice rhythm through rhyme here. Really, really enjoyed the additional lyricism in the opening stanza, very much emulating the sound of moving along the tracks. Great title too. Thanks

Jingle Poetry At Olive Garden said...

love the rhythms in it.

well done.

Becky Sain said...

I have this thing with metaphorical trains -- loved this.
Thank you for sharing!

Mystic_Mom said...

Rolling along the tracks, you've captured that so well here. Nicely done my dear!

Chim's World of Literature said...

i like your intro and i want to comment on that is so true, people are confined in there own isolation and what intrigues me is that there shoes opened the door to your creativity.